Okay, so I am going to start this review by saying this will probably be 100% biased, because Tulisa is my idol.
This review won’t be like my other reviews.
So we are going to go back in time a little to 2006. I was 14 years old, my sisters had both left home, and that left me and my mum. My mum is disabled and was also in a bad place at that time. I didn’t go out except to go to school. I read a lot and I spent a lot of time listening to music channels. My go to music channel at the time was Channel U. It played mainly British grime and hip-hop, which was my vibe and still is, to be fair, I just listen to rock as well these days. Anyway, I remember seeing N-Dubz Better not waste my time and instantly it became a fav song and I soon had it on my phone with a total of 4 other songs 😂 I listened to it constantly and when I Swear was released, I knew I had found my favourite group.
At first, I remember being jealous of Tulisa because of how absolutely stunning she was. It didn’t take long for that jealousy to go away and be replaced with admiration. I have followed N-Dubz over the years. I saw them live at Clubland; unfortunately, I missed their last tour because I was still recovering from heart surgery. I have always admired how strong Tulisa is, how much of a boss she is. I am an anxious people pleaser who won’t say boo to a goose, and I have always wished that I could channel some of Tulisa’s TFB energy.
As a teenager growing up caring for a disabled mother, dealing with depression and anxiety, music became my lifeline. I never went anywhere without my earphones and MP3 player. My mum and I used to stay with my great grandma every weekend, she had a black poodle called…you’re not even read for this name…Princess Tia Maria.
I don’t know why she was named that! Anyway, she was a bugger! I had gone to sleep, and my earphones were beside me, and at some point in the night, Princess had come into my room and chewed my earphones, my underwear and my shoes. When I woke up and saw them in the morning, I stomped downstairs and showed my Grandma. Her response was to go “Oh Dear” She then shouted to my mum and said, “We need to go to Tesco and get Little One some more of these ear thingies now.” She didn’t get it, but she knew how much I needed them, and bless her heart, she went and got me a new pair. I stayed at her house while they went and gave the Princess the side eye, until she nudged me, and well, come on, I can’t stay mad at a dog. I still told her she was a prick 😂
Even to this day, if I am down, I listen to N-Dubz, or Tulisa’s solo album, and you can guarantee I will do my awkward dance and sing along and smile. If I listen to Demi Lovato when I’m down, you know I am down, down and that I am going to cry.
So yeah, this is so far a big load of writing about how much I kiss Tulisa’s arse, but I guess the thing is N-Dubz was there for me through their music when I felt like no one else was.
The minute I heard about Judgement, I knew I was going to get it. As a big Tulisa fan and also an avid book lover, it was a need more than a want. I pre-ordered the signed copy from WHSmith’s and couldn’t wait to read it. It was less about the gossip and more about getting to know Tulisa better through this book. Then I saw on her Instagram that she was recording the audiobook herself. I have listened to a couple of audiobooks, but I prefer to read a book. Still, I pre-ordered the audiobook because I knew it would be better hearing about Tulisa’s life from Tulisa herself, and I was right. I loved the audiobook.
The way Tulisa has written this is more like a story than an autobiography; you get to see what Tulisa was going through in regards to the trial, but you also get a look into Tulisa’s love life at the time. You get to learn another side of Tulisa, the side that gets nervous and anxious, and in this book, you see her vulnerability. I think even if you are not a huge Tulisa/N-Dubz fan like me that you would still enjoy reading this book. Even if you don’t know Tulisa, you would still enjoy this book, and you should definitely go and get it.
This book made me laugh, and it made me cry. The things Tulisa had to endure at this time are heartbreaking. Not only does the book talk about the trial and the darkness that brought it, she talks about love, not just love for the man she was with, but love for her friends and her family. I also realised when reading this that Tulisa is a human like me. I know that sounds stupid but she is more than the woman I idolise. There were many times while reading this book that I thought, omg, that’s how I feel, or girl same I run or I shut down and become cold. When I had my first breakdown, the only place I found comfort was in the bathroom. I would stand in the shower under the water for hours in the dark and it was the only peace I felt. So when Tulisa said that she goes to the bathroom when it gets too much, it hit me that she is my idol but she still feels things like I do. If that makes any sense lol, I know what I mean but I am struggling to put it in words.
Anyway, if you are still here, thank you for reading my word vomit 😂
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
